Eeni Meenie Miney Moe
Catch a Trigger by its Toe
If you holler, then you know
Time to let more old shit go
It's pretty clear I'm not Poe or Keats. I belong more to the Seuss, Mother Goose genre and this is my ode to fellow citizens living in Constipation Nation.
We cannot poop like other so-called underdeveloped countries. Why on earth are we needing docusate, bisacodyl, caffeine, polyethylene glycol, magnesium citrate, glycerin suppositories, soap suds, saline laxatives -- and list goes on -- to do something that used to be so natural?
There is a shit shellac going on in the lower intestines of many past our thirties. There is a reason why many of us go to a GI in our forties and fifties - and it's not just for the annual colonoscopy.
Diet is one reason.
But there's the parasympathetic / sympathetic nervous system issue that is at play. We are constantly stressed. A lot of it has to do with our triggers. Got yelled at by a stranger and gut shuts down? Got passed up for a promotion again? There are bigger issues than Got Milk?...
Dig deep. It has something to do with trauma unprocessed.
I remember a time in the underbelly of New York city's mass transit system. A young man in his 20's was wedged in the corner between the door and that prized outer seat. When the door opened, a paunchy business type in his early 60's was ready to get out. The young man was not texting or crushing candies on his smartphone. (This was the era when there were no cell phones whatsoever).
Before walking out, the Suit glared at the Kid and yelled at him for blocking his exit. Any reasonable person would have commented that there was plenty of space for the Suit to leave - paunch, ego, and all.
The Kid had every right to yell back, use a hand gesture common to the Empire State, or just look mad with indignation for the rest of his ride.
But to my amazement, he laughed. It wasn't a mean-spirited cackle. It was "holy-cow-this-is-beyond-funny." Spontaneity at its best.
Years later, I imagine the Kid had somehow been spared the yelling from authoritative figures in his most formative years.
Just as diet and plenty of liquids are important, so too are working through our own triggers.
Did you ever have a good cry and then have to go to the bathroom? E-motion. E-limination.
Here's a prescription for the weekend: Try one yoga class + a bowl of Move-On Flaxseed Porridge + lots of H2O throughout your day:
Move-On Porridge Recipe:
You will Need:
1 cup of whole flax seeds
1.5 cups of filtered water
1 Vitamix
Procedure:
1) Soak the flaxseed in water for 15 to 20 minutes
2) Pour the whole mix into a Vitamix.
3) Whiz, whiz, whiz
4) Add a pinch of salt for taste if you like
Then take a yoga class and work out your triggers. Drink plenty of water in between. You'll be bowel 'd over by the results.